Althaea Sebastiani
  • Home
    • Resources
  • Learn Witchcraft
    • Courses >
      • Reviews
    • Books
    • Articles
  • Blog
  • Throwing the Bones
    • Testimonials
  • About
    • Contact
    • FAQ's

On Being & Becoming...

10/18/2016

 
Being & BecomingI promise mushrooms, moss, & decaying wood are absolutely appropriate to this post. Shh... yes, they are.
​It should come as no surprise that often times, well laid plans must be amended. So, too, it should come as no surprise that sometimes those plans amend themselves back to the originally intended route, leaving you floundering, out of breath, and thoroughly unprepared. It cannot be stated strongly enough that as much as the Universe may have a hand in our lives, it definitely does so with a sense of humor as it pushes us forward to become better and stronger than we currently are.

My middle son (9 years old) and I have been discussing the purpose of life lately. It’s been an interesting discussion that has brought many things to mind for me, especially with the way that life has been going lately. We determined that the purpose of life, in the most general sense, is to go forward. To keep going forward. There’s a lot of implications in that and there’s a part of me that wants to defer to a Pixar movie and start singing “just keep swimming” but I digress…

It’s so easy to want to give up, to choose no, to not do the difficult thing, to not face that thing that has you scared shitless and shaking as you hyperventilate and desperately try to come up with a solution. But you do it anyway. You keep moving forward. You tackle the problems as they arrive, as best you can. You face the things about yourself that you don’t like, that keep you from moving forward, and you analyze them, dissect them, understand them, understand yourself, accept that this is how you were, and the you move forward with love for yourself, for the things that happened to you to make you become that way. You move forward. Don’t forget, but forgive yourself, and let it go so you can get on with life.

Because my life is ruled by adventure (second in command only to babies,) my family and I are in the midst of traveling across country. This is move I make on my own with the children as my husband must continue to work in order to support this move and to get us stable once we arrive at our destination. The full force of that has yet to strike me (repression?) but, thankfully, the trip is going as smoothly as it can.

This is a gentle trip, a slow trip. A trip focused more on “where are we now” rather than “how long until we get there.” It is a trip that has been filled with moments of random beauty, and moments of realization that have only pushed me further forward, mentally and emotionally. I’m growing as a person but in ways that are not readily seen. I worry about the things that were cut away to get here, about the things that I’ve left behind. Yet, at the same time, this feels not so much like growth but of tempering, of being forced to fully own decisions I’ve made, desires I have, and to bring them to fruition. On the one hand, this brings comfort as it is an indication of not being at the beginning of the journey nor of being in the midst of the toughest struggles, rather I am closer to the end goal (which we all know is nothing more than the beginning of that calm before the next trial…) On the other hand, that I will never see my grandmother again troubles me greatly.*

It will be a few weeks yet before we arrive at our destination. For now, it is all about the journey, about the process, about becoming.
 
 
 
 
 
*I was raised within a strong family community structure: big Polish family with everybody knowing everything going on in everybody’s lives at every given moment. The positive aspects of such a structure are great (huge family get togethers with so much food, always someone to talk to, always a birthday party to look forward to that month) but the negative aspects are more insidious (shunning, multigenerational physical abuse as the norm, cult-like behavior with strong suspicion of others, prolific racism, blatant manipulation and control, direct sabotage to keep someone from doing something that “we don’t do,” etc.) There are good reasons why no one but my husband and children know where we are, but that my family, en totale, now consists of just seven people is a fact that leaves me feeling deeply ungrounded. I have lost my connection to the past.

Comments are closed.

    Throwing the Bones

    Picture
    Get a Reading

    Stay Connected

    Thank you!

    You have successfully subscribed.

    Feral Witch

    Picture

    Archives

    January 2023
    February 2021
    January 2021
    March 2020
    September 2019
    May 2019
    January 2019
    October 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    October 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    May 2014
    September 2013
    August 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    June 2012
    May 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    January 2011
    December 2010
    November 2010
    October 2010
    September 2010

Picture
all photos and text copyright protected
and may not be used or reproduced, in part or in whole, without express written permission
Privacy Policy
Terms of Service
Cookie Policy
Disclaimer
  • Home
    • Resources
  • Learn Witchcraft
    • Courses >
      • Reviews
    • Books
    • Articles
  • Blog
  • Throwing the Bones
    • Testimonials
  • About
    • Contact
    • FAQ's