I'll warn you now by stating that this probably isn't going to be a constructive post, there won't be anything learned for either of us. Now that you're properly prepared, let us continue, shall we?
This past Dark Moon time was not a pleasant one for me. Mercury went direct, the Moon went Dark, Jupiter went retrograde, and I happened to be in the grips of a 6 months postpartum hormone imbalance; all this within the same 3 day period. Yeah, fun times. All attempts at grounding did not help as much as I needed; I was still shaky and scatter brained. Several headaches, too, and Reiki barely helped. But, the Moon waxes strongly, and I am feeling better now. I've also given up coffee (which I only drink postpartum in hopes of staying conscious) because I've noticed I'm becoming addicted to sugar (which must go in coffee because coffee is... not as pleasant as it could be....)
But, aside from my own internal issues, this period brought some other interesting things. Perhaps as an apology in advance for the lack of good fortune set to come, Jupiter saw fit to surprise me before going retrograde: I won a signed copy of Modern Magick by Donald Michael Kraig! I repeatedly sang songs about this and danced (free-style and traditional ballroom, because I'm cool like that...) throughout the day because, free book that was on my wish list! Thank you Llewellyn! :D
Then the not-so-fun stuff happened. If you read the last entry, you'll remember that my mom is controlling and despises the fact that we are going to homeschool Atticus (and if you didn't, you're caught up now.) The Thursday after that, my mother watched the three older kids for the day as we had some random errands to do and needed extra vehicle space. My mom hadn't mentioned homeschooling at all, I, erroneously, assumed the issue was dropped. But, still at my mom's house, as soon as Atticus and I were alone, out of earshot of my mother, he told me that he didn't want to be homeschooled. This was out of nowhere and I'm sure you can guess why he said this. I didn't mention anything to my mom and we left.
About an hour after getting home, my mom calls. Apparently, Titus had forgotten his necklaces at her house (and why were they taken off?!? Because my mom took them from him. Why? Because one is a Thor's Hammer, the other a Pentacle.) More importantly though, she wanted to know if Atticus had said anything.
She expected me to play her game, roll over and show my belly, so to speak. But, what she doesn't realize is that I've had to deal with a lot of crap. The Universe kicked my ass this past year and I am stronger for it, more focused, and more determined. What she doesn't realize is that I am committed to my family's happiness. What she doesn't realize is that I'm not her and that she is wrong.
I didn't yell at her. Rather, very calmly, I told her how she shouldn't be trying to manipulate him, that he's only six years old. I could feel her gasp, could feel her having been taken completely off guard. I felt her shock, her moment of panic at not being in control and not knowing what to do next; the phone was silent. I paused, startled by the response, but I kept talking. There was something larger at work here, I could feel it, hear it telling me what to say, pushing me onward to just keep talking. I told her how we've put a lot of thought into this, that we sincerely believed that it was in his best interest, that we weren't purposely trying to screw up our kids... Then the phone clicked.
I had called her on her bullshit and the woman hung up on me.
She called back a few minutes later. Still not playing her game, I didn't answer. All she would have done was yell at me and hang up, her ploy to get the last word in.
A week passed. Jupiter turned his back to me, and then the phone rang. I knew she would finally call. She'd been thinking about it since she got done with work (think I'm crazy all you want, but I always know when my mom will call, and vice versa.) But, it was my brother who was calling. I didn't answer. A few hours passed and the phone rang again. It was my sister; I didn't answer. I waited until after my mom went to bed and just before my sister would and then I texted her. It was as was to be expected: my mother was calling through my siblings to try to reassert her control because she was too afraid to talk to me directly. What? Did you think maybe she was going to apologize? *sigh* That, will never happen.
But, as I said earlier, the Moon waxes strongly! And I am committed to happiness! And, I've got all of my wonderful books and magickal supplies in house. That's right: there's over a hundred candles here and I'm itching to start inscribing, dressing, and burning. Jupiter may be ignoring me, my mother may be schizophrenic, but the Moon's on my side and there is magick to be wrought! :D
Throwing the Bones
Brand New Course