Althaea Sebastiani
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Dedication and Names

11/16/2014

3 Comments

 
That these last few years have been marked by an Ordeal has been on my mind a lot lately, especially as it seems that I may be nearing the end of my Ordeal. This is something that I am grateful for, as it has affected my entire family –I am not the only one who has struggled, suffered, and changed as a result of a promise I made. That promise has been on my mind lately, too.

Backtrack six years….
I was pregnant with my third child. My husband was working over the road, driving truck, and with only two small boys, I had much time to myself at night to think, write, and focus greatly on my practice and my relationship with a certain Deity. Despite practicing for some 15 years at that point, the thought of dedication (be it to my practice or to the Deity I had now known for nearly as long and had been working with consistently for about 5 years) had never been a consideration.

But Someone wasn’t happy with that.

Night after night, I would spend a few hours doing energetic exercises (which I found crucial to giving birth and utilized in the births of all five of my children,) taking care of any Work I needed done, and conversing with Her. It quickly became obvious that while She enjoyed this extra devotional time, She wanted to take our relationship in a new direction.

Her demands were fairly clear, despite a pregnancy muddled brain on my part, but I dragged my feet and put considerable thought into what She was asking and just what I was willing to give. She wanted a priestess. I wanted direction. After even more thought, I consented. A few candles and sleeping baby, cuddled up in my belly were the only witnesses to my late-night promise.

Soon after, She made it clear that having now finally dedicated myself, it was time to take a new name. This, too, I was little skeptical of, as up until this point I had never chosen a Craft name and found the idea a little…. well, let’s just say there are entirely too many Butterfly Moonshadows and such prowling about. It leaves a bad taste in one’s mouth.

Flipping through one of my favorite herb books, studying the pages as I was drawn to, a name leapt out at me from the page.

There.
That? Seriously?
That. You.
No one is going to pronounce that correctly, ever….
*silence*
Alright….

And so I took the name “Althaea.” Because She said so. Further research showed that it is a variation of the name of one of Her most famous priestesses. A priestess who was elevated to deity status, but then whose worship was subsumed by Her. Fitting, very fitting, and very likely why She liked the name so much. At that time, I was very much into energy healing, so that it came from the Greek verb meaning “to heal” appealed to me greatly. But, I was right… people always pronounce it wrong. (It’s “all-thay-ah” not “all-thee-ah.” Althea, while being another variant, means “all goddesses.” Yeah… not my cup of tea. And not Hers, either.)

It was several months later that my life was completely and devastatingly ripped apart and changed. The consequences of my promise began to manifest, the Ordeal began. And those first few months were horrific; loved ones died, my husband was attacked, and in the end we were homeless and living in a tent, and then a homeless shelter once it got too cold to remain in the tent. It took nearly a year later before I would realize that this was all a result of my promise. Thankfully, She was gentle with me in this realization; I had much healing to do at that point.

While I didn’t regret my promise (still don't,) I was deeply saddened that I was so thick that my Ordeal had to be so harsh and affect my family, my children, so strongly. But, no regrets. There were lessons that I was not going to learn any other way. Being stubborn has its downsides.

Of course, that was only the worst of it. The Ordeal carried on, but easier. I was becoming who She wanted, who She needed; I didn’t need to be broken down so fully anymore.

And now… here I am… and there, ever so faintly but twinkling brightly, is a light at the end of that proverbial tunnel.

A round of drinks on me when I get there.
3 Comments
Tanaya
9/30/2017 07:02:59 am

I’ve always been drawn to one particular deity, but since I’m fairly new to the craft, how do I know She is the right one? Should I dedicate now or wait and take my time to get to know Her first?

Reply
Althaea
9/30/2017 12:19:32 pm

Hello Tanaya,

There is no such thing as the “right one” when it comes to promising yourself, your life, and your service to a Deity. There is only you, the Deity Whom you should already have an intimate relationship, and the promises you make.

Dedication is NOT something to take lightly. You are giving your life and service to that Deity. What happens should you later decide that you and that Deity don’t really “mesh” or that there is another Deity to Whom you are drawn? You cannot “undo” a dedication. The Deity to Whom you dedicated yourself will not take a broken promise lightly and will not give up what was freely given to them. There are and will be consequences.

If you are unsure in any way DO NOT dedicate. Dedication is very much like a marriage in that it is a binding promise between two individuals -you and that Deity- that is made under mutual agreement. Has this Deity *asked* you to dedicate to Them? If not, consider why you think you should. If They have asked, what *else* are They asking of you?

Please, take a moment and reread the post above. Take note of how quickly my entire life fell apart after I dedicated myself to a Goddess I had been intimately familiar with for years. My family, my children, suffered because of my promise. Yes, we are all the better for it now but at the time... things were really, really bad.

Dedication is very much like an initiation in that it will completely overturn and change your life. There is no going back from that. And in addition to the promises you make to that Deity, there are the promises They require of you. To be clear, it’s very much like a contract. They make demands of you and will offer something in exchange. Your committed work and service to Them is part of what you offer in exchange. And you are allowed to make requests as to what that is in exchange. But, regardless of what you ask and what They ask, your life will be torn apart: you will be torn apart and be remade.

Talk with your Deity. Find out if this is something that They want of you. They may not want you as Their priestess, and that’s totally fine. Dedication is NOT a requirement to being Pagan and certainly not a requirement for practicing witchcraft -heck, working with Deities isn’t even required in witchcraft.

I hope that, whatever you decide, you proceed with much thought and considerable awareness of the far-reaching consequences of dedication.

May your journey be as smooth as possible.

Reply
Shire
3/26/2020 12:31:17 pm

Althaea, thank you for all that you make available here through your blog. I have a question in regards to dedication. I was previously Christian, and I underwent voluntary baptism as an aware teenager. Could this be a contributing factor to my experience of only a short-lived sense of connectedness to other Deities I have sought a relationship with? And is there any means of effectively terminating a tie once established? I appreciate any input.

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