This past Dark Moon, a week ago today, was planned to pass with little recognition. Originally, I had planned to cleanse the house. It is quite apparent, at this point, that there is at least one something here and I refuse to let it stay or reason with it in anyway: this is my house and I will not let it remain. But, I digress: that is a story for another entry.
This Dark Moon came, and like many a recent night, I was overwhelmed, multitasking to the point that I had no idea, really, what I was doing anymore. It was time for bed, the kids were... vying for the attention of a stressed out mom. The computer screen leered at me, angrily: a reminder of the immense amount of schoolwork I needed to do, a reminder that though one class would be ending the following Sunday, another would be starting on Monday.
In the midst of this chaos, children running through the house, computer silently yelling at me, stress spewing out of my in sticky black clouds, my dear friend offered to give me Reiki. I should have said no, but I was already procrastinating on schoolwork, and, honestly, I knew I could use the energy.
I managed to get the boys in bed and asleep, fought with the girls and eventually gave up because Debra and I were ready to begin the session. She was doing in distantly, as she lives in New York, and with the time change, I didn't want to keep her up too late.
I wasn't sure what to expect, there were some things I had been meaning to tackle soon, like the good witch that I am, as last month marked the one year anniversary of my kitty familiar's death. I took it hard: I had bottle fed him and his brother and sister: he was my baby and best friend for ten years. That was also the beginning of when everything in my family's and my life began to fall, viciously, apart. That, too, is for another entry.
I laid on the floor, on one of those Mexican souvenir rug/blankets that everyone gets when they go to Mexico; I think we have like four of them and I've never been to Mexico. I had a few stones on me, as usual my Bloodstone was trying to roll away (I swear it doesn't like me, it's always disappearing, hiding; it only behaves the same day it's been cleansed, and then just barely...)
I felt the unmistakable energy surge when she began and was actually able to follow along simply by paying attention to the energy flow. When she reached my feet, though, it was remarkable. The energy surged up through my Channel, flooded my Heart Chakra, and then continued up and out. My daughters sat quietly around me, listening to the music; Aurora repositioned the Bloodstone as needed.
Afterward, my friend told me of a couple of entities she picked up that were attached to me: both of them I was already aware of as they had been following me for about 15 years. She identified the one as being problematic and was able to explain some of "his" questionable behavior. I thanked her and told her goodnight then took the girls to my bed to sleep.
I lay there and continued the session as she had instructed me to: I called my guides, my Gods, the archangels (I don't work with them, or possibly even believe in them, but she does and had enlisted their help,) and asked Them to protect me and continue the healing while I slept. I felt/saw the questionable man approach the doorway to my room. I dismissed him and repeated the prayer Debra used at the beginning of the session; he disappeared.
I lay there for a bit, synthesizing, and then: I began to cry, hard. I lay there between my beautiful sleeping daughters and sobbed into my pillow, trying not to wake them, but unable and unwilling to stop. My mind flew back to last Summer and I relived the moment my darling kitty died in my arms. I was at a loss for control, but then just as suddenly as I began to cry, I stopped. And I was fine. I was done crying and I was completely fine. There had been this huge emotional release and all of this horrible guilt that I'd been carrying around left. And I was okay.
I continued the healing through the next couple of days, making important life decisions, effecting the right now. The Harvest has always been a time of profound importance to my family, hence why, growing up, the majority of all family gatherings and celebrations had to do with one of the many Harvests. And since consciously deciding to retain as much of my family's beliefs and practices as I can, the Harvest time has always affected my life in remarkable ways. This year, I made a personal sacrifice to benefit my family. It may not seem like much, but to me, to us, it is huge. I dropped two classes, bringing me down to only one class now this semester (as another ended last Sunday.) Already, the effects are noticeable: I am incredibly less stressed, I can breath, and my children don't have to terrorize me just to get a hug out of me.
Tomorrow, our Family Coven will be celebrating Lammas as well as Atticus' 6th birthday. Happy Birthday, my beautiful little love.
Throwing the Bones