Including Children in Ritual

Including children in ritual can be a very warm and rewarding experience. Though if one’s never Circled with children before, planning a ritual to include them may leave one drawing a blank.

Children have a natural interest and curiosity for all the natural world and they take easily to magickal workings. They also function on a more spontaneous and open level, versus the methodical and rational level that adults tend to operate from so planning a ritual for kids is actually much simpler than planning a ritual for adults. But, given that adults and children do function differently, there are some things to keep in mind that can make the ritual more enjoyable for everyone involved.

3 Tips for Including Children in Ritual

• Keep the ritual short! It’s hard enough for adults to sit through a 4 hour long group ritual, can anyone honestly expect a three year old to maintain focus for that long? Remember: kids have short attention spans and are easily distracted. Handy rule of thumb: if your child is three years old, aim for 20 minutes. For every year older than that up to six years old add ten minutes (i.e. 3yo=20 min, 4yo=30 min, 5yo=40 min, 6yo=50 min) Older than 6, aim for an hour, hour and a half tops but only if the child is actively involved throughout the rite. Children under three years old: good luck.
• Keep it simple! Children already function more from the subconscious mind than the conscious mind, so complex symbolism isn't needed. Identify what it is the ritual is supposed to be about and what you are hoping to achieve. Now try to achieve it in the most direct fashion. For example, while a healing ritual for an injured love one could entail the use of 20 blue candles carefully moved about the Circle at specifically timed intervals in specific directions from specific point within the Circle, your child will only be lost and bored! A better option might involve focusing on the loved one, a picture perhaps or their name, and chanting to raise the energy.
• Keep it active! Children are naturally kinesthetic; they like to touch things and they learn and focus better while feeling, be it the object they are touching or the sensations of their moving body. So be sure to include lots of hands-on activities and movements as part of the ritual: not only will this help your child to remain focused but it’s also more fun for them!

Following the ritual outline as covered in the previous article Ritual Construction, and in keeping with these 3 tips, here are some ideas for involving your children in ritual:

• Purification: Children can use fans or feathers to “fan” the space and everyone participating. Or, children can asperge everyone and the space  with a spray bottle set to mist, or with a sprig of herbs dipped into a bowl of water (that an adult holds, woe to they who let the child carry the bowl or set it down so that multiple children can access it: you've been warned.) Older children can cense the space and participants, but how old exactly will depend on your child. For example, my eldest has been allowed to cense a space since he was four, however I wouldn't trust my youngest son, currently 5, with smoldering incense. 
• Creating Sacred Space: Whether or not you truly need an altar will depend on what you have planned for the body of the ritual, but generally, children do well with no tools or one tool: switching back and forth may be confusing and can lose a child’s focus. Casting the Circle can be one of the most enjoyable parts of a ritual for children! Let them run about the Circle edge, laughing and singing, this is especially good for protection magick. Music can also be used to cast the Circle, with children banging on small hand drums or shaking tambourines, maracas, or shakers (i.e. rattles.)
• Invitations: For calling the Elements, there could be a small bowl at each quarter filled with something representing that Element that the children can sprinkle. For example, a bowl filled with dirt that they grab a handful of and sprinkle it on the ground; a bowl of seeds they could sprinkle or blow, like Dandelion of Milkweed seeds; two sticks that are burnt on the ends that the child can tap together above their head; a bowl of water to hold and toss the water into the air and out of the bowl, so it rains onto the ground. Or the Earth could be called by stomping and humming lowly, call the Air by waving arms in the air and howling softly like the wind through the trees, march and clap to call the Fire, and sway, fluidly, while singing a gentle “oooo…” rising slowly up and down the scale. For calling Gods, I prefer a different style as I feel Gods should be approached in a reverential manner. A simple rhyming verse, arms held aloft, uttered in reverence serves as a nice contrast to the highly active nature of the rest of the ritual. It also serves to impress upon children the importance of worship and respect for the Gods.
• Body of Work: For magickal workings, chanting and dancing work wonderfully for children. Particularly strong magick can be wrought by holding hands, walking about the Circle, chanting (think “Ring Around the Rosies:” everyone falls to the ground, letting go of eachother’s hands when enough energy has been raised.) Also good are short, lively chants with a bouncy rhythm.
• Thank You’s and Farewells: Keep them similar to the way that Everyone was called to the Circle. If you danced in the Elements, dance Them out (perhaps slowing down as you go and lowering to the ground.) If you sprinkled/blew representations of Them, take what’s left in the bowl and scatter it, and place the bowl upside down on the ground; take the burnt sticks used to call Fire and toss them as far as you can.
• Dissolving Sacred Space: A Circle should always be opened in a similar manner as it was closed and this is no different with children than with adults. If your children ran the perimeter to cast the Cirlce, have them walk the Circle to open it. If everyone played music to close the Circle, play a slower song, moving down the scale, with a sustained end note. 

Of course, these are just suggestions, and what exactly you do will depend upon your child, their interests, and their capabilities (not to mention how many children you’re attempting to Circle with!) What works well for one child may bore another to tears, and what didn’t work 3 months ago may be perfect now. It’s important to be adaptable, flexing to the needs of your child. After all, including your child in ritual isn’t about you, it’s about them and making that ritual meaningful for them.

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Composing a Ritual