A Handfasting is the common name for a Neo-Pagan Wedding Ceremony. It may involve such traditions as a ritual binding of the hands (symbolic of the binding of the souls that is occurring with this Union,) and jumping over a broom (to symbolically sweep away all trouble from the past, allowing the couple to enter into this Union in a pure state, that nothing of their pasts should trouble them nor prevent their shared happiness.) It may also, as in the marriage ceremonies of many other faiths, and is common in our culture, include the exchange of tokens such as rings to be worn as long as the Union lasts (the form of the ring, a circle, is no coincidence; these rings are symbolic, in their exchange, of the complete giving over of oneself in Union, of the vulnerability one must risk in order to meld completely with that person and achieve bliss.)
Ceremonies may be legally binding (in the eyes of the Law that is Man) or Ceremonial/Religious only but all are binding in the Law that is Love (and in the eyes of the Divine.)
Ceremonies may be legally binding (in the eyes of the Law that is Man) or Ceremonial/Religious only but all are binding in the Law that is Love (and in the eyes of the Divine.)
Planning Your Handfasting
These are few things that can be helpful to keep in mind when planning your Handfasting or Wedding
When?
Late afternoon makes for beautiful slanted sunlight but may mean a chilly reception afterwards and guests leaving early because of obligations the next day. A morning ceremony on a weekend allows for the least amount of schedule conflicts for guests, but also means that the festivities may go on longer, delaying the Great Rite and consummation.
Our Lore states that the New or Waxing Moon is favorable, as the love of the couple will strengthen with the Moon. The same, thus, applies to the waxing half of the year (between Winter and Summer Solstice.) Also, for the day, the period between Midnight and Noon are most auspicious. There are other astrological events as well (such as where Venus is, any aspects, transits, etc.) that may be taken into consideration. To choose a date and time via astrology, it is wise to allow as much time before the wedding as possible, at least a year in advance, and to consult with an experienced Astrologer.
Where?
Indoors or outside? This will tie in directly with when. An outside ceremony in February in Wisconsin may be beautiful, but does the bride really want to wear boots and a parka? Keep in mind your guests' comfort, as the happier they are, the less likely they are to bother you and take away from your pleasure.
If it's a small group, you can probably get away with having your guests stand, but keep a few chairs on hand for elderly guests or parents with young children. With larger groups, you'll probably want everyone seated: this allows everyone a better view.
If you plan on having the ceremony indoors, make sure that it is a space that will comfortably hold all of your guests. A small room can easily become stuffy. And if any of your guests have small children, you may want to make sure there is a quiet place they can sneak off to if the child can't make it through the entire ceremony (and also make sure that they know about this, don't worry about telling them yourself: that's what the Maid of Honor or Best Man is for!)
Who?
Choosing an Officiant
Shop around. Don't just settle for the first one you find. Ask questions:
The Ceremony
The Reception
When?
- What time of year, is there a particular season you like?
- What time of the day?
Late afternoon makes for beautiful slanted sunlight but may mean a chilly reception afterwards and guests leaving early because of obligations the next day. A morning ceremony on a weekend allows for the least amount of schedule conflicts for guests, but also means that the festivities may go on longer, delaying the Great Rite and consummation.
Our Lore states that the New or Waxing Moon is favorable, as the love of the couple will strengthen with the Moon. The same, thus, applies to the waxing half of the year (between Winter and Summer Solstice.) Also, for the day, the period between Midnight and Noon are most auspicious. There are other astrological events as well (such as where Venus is, any aspects, transits, etc.) that may be taken into consideration. To choose a date and time via astrology, it is wise to allow as much time before the wedding as possible, at least a year in advance, and to consult with an experienced Astrologer.
Where?
Indoors or outside? This will tie in directly with when. An outside ceremony in February in Wisconsin may be beautiful, but does the bride really want to wear boots and a parka? Keep in mind your guests' comfort, as the happier they are, the less likely they are to bother you and take away from your pleasure.
If it's a small group, you can probably get away with having your guests stand, but keep a few chairs on hand for elderly guests or parents with young children. With larger groups, you'll probably want everyone seated: this allows everyone a better view.
If you plan on having the ceremony indoors, make sure that it is a space that will comfortably hold all of your guests. A small room can easily become stuffy. And if any of your guests have small children, you may want to make sure there is a quiet place they can sneak off to if the child can't make it through the entire ceremony (and also make sure that they know about this, don't worry about telling them yourself: that's what the Maid of Honor or Best Man is for!)
Who?
- Who do you want to invite? Who are you obligated to invite? Do you want a large group or a smaller, more intimate affair?
- Who do you want to officiate the ceremony? Clergy, notary, Justice of the Peace, family or friend?
- Do you wish to have a Bridal Party (Maids of the Goddess) or Groomsmen (Merry Men)?
Choosing an Officiant
Shop around. Don't just settle for the first one you find. Ask questions:
- What do they charge?
- What services do they provide?
- How often can you meet with them before the ceremony? Do they charge extra for consultations?
- Does their cost include a rehearsal or do they charge extra?
- Are they flexible and willing to work with your ideas or do they have a certain way of doing things?
- And, most of all, are you comfortable with them? Do you like them?
The Ceremony
- Who do you want to participate in this ceremony with you? Do you want friends and family to have an active role, perhaps calling the Quarters or offering a blessing?
- What do you want the ceremony to entail? Do you want a full ritual, with an altar, Circle, and Deities present? If so, what tools do you want on the altar? Will you supply them or do you want the officiant to provide them? Is there anything special or extra that you would like on the altar? Is there a particular layout to the altar that you would like?
- Does your Handfasting have a theme? What colors to you want? Will these colors be included in the Handfasting cord (if any) or besom (if any)?
- What will you each wear? Be sure that your outfits compliment each other.
- Do you want your hands bound? Do you want to jump-the-broom?
- Do you want music to be played? If so, do you want live or recorded music? Who will be providing the music?
- Do you want flowers or other decoration? Where will you get these from?
- Do you want guests to be seated or standing? Is there any particular layout you want?
- How long do you want the ceremony to last? The more guests you have, the shorter the ceremony should be. Larger groups tend to get bored more quickly because there is more to be distracted by.
The Reception
- Do you want a reception?
- What do you want at your reception? What are you obligated to have?
- Music? Dancing? Food?
- When will this be? Immediately following the Handfasting or would you like some time in between to sneak away and perform the Great Rite?
- Where will it be?
- What are your plans for afterwards? If you have children, who will be caring for them? For how long?